


Stars

by TheLawyersKeeper



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben-centric, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Evil Armitage Hux, F/M, Original Character(s), PLEASE READ TAGS, Platonic Relationships, Protective Ben Solo, Redeemed Ben Solo, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:54:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22379026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLawyersKeeper/pseuds/TheLawyersKeeper
Summary: Based on a prompt I received on Tumblr:“Hi! I really liked your reylo fic call me home but im not a big reylo fan personally. I was wondering if youd be willing to try one with an oc maybe? I was thinking maybe like shes a humanoid he finds on a planet and they share like the dyad but different and maybe she like helps him back to the light??? Like rey and everyone can still be in it but like his relationship is with her?? I hope this makes sense”She was stunning, ice blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. Her skin held a light sparkle in the sun and her pointed ears peaked out through the tresses as she pointed the primitive weapon at the Knights. Kylo knew that she was no match or his Knights, especially with the wild fear in her eyes. And it suddenly hit him in the chest like a bolt of lightning.He could feel it.The Force.He couldn’t let them hurt her.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 12
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've never done an OC fic before so here's hoping it works! Lemme know what you think!!

“No prisoners, no one left alive” Captain Phasma nodded, turning back to her troopers as First Order Commander Kylo Ren and his Knights stepped off their shuttle, looking around as the rest of the Stormtroopers already on the move slaughtering the city.

_This is what happens when you defy the first order_ Kylo thought to himself, hoping that annoying scavenger could feel this, the devastation she’d caused. He’d repeatedly told her to join him, but she’d refused. She called him a monster.

Well, if Rey wanted a monster, she’d get one.

He looked impassively around the village. In another life, he would have considered it beautiful. But as it rained ash and smoke and screams filled the air he felt a slight satisfaction in watching it crumble.

He gestured to his Knights, instructing them to go forth and to come back to him with anything interesting as he began to lazily walk around the chaos. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Hux’s face when the Supreme Leader saw his excellent work. Sullust still had a lot to offer the Empire, so destroying it completely would be foolish.

But wiping out one of their most important villages would certainly get the point across.

They’d already found where they’d been assisting and hiding Resistance members and important information, mainly regarding General Leia Organa.

Kylo turned to a nearby Stormtrooper, grabbing the scruff of his neck and yanking forward to get his attention.

“Is General Organa here?” the Stormtrooper shook his head, shaking in the Commander’s grasp.

“N-no Commander, she isn’t here, no sign of any Resistance members as of yet” Kylo released him and sent him off, surveying the area.

He most certainly did _not_ feel any relief.

He sighed as he turned around, nodding his head to Phasma as she approached.

“Commander Ren, your Knights have found something” he cocked his head to the side, appraising her through his eye-ports. He followed her rapid footsteps towards a small hut on the edge of the village.

“Is it information?” Phasma shook her head.

“No sir, a potential Resistance member-“

“Is it Organa?” Phasma shook her head and continued to lead the way, carelessly stepping over bodies as she walked through her troopers’ handiwork.

“No sir, it’s no one we have record of – in fact we’re not even sure what species she is.” Kylo furrowed his brow as the door swung open.

His eyes scanned the room and his heart stopped.

* * *

She was stunning, ice blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. Her skin held a light sparkle in the sun and her pointed ears peaked out through the tresses as she pointed the primitive weapon at the Knights. Kylo knew that she was no match or his Knights, especially with the wild fear in her eyes.

He turned to watch the rest of the carnage, it was clear that this planet did not speak Basic, and for the first time in as long as he could remember he felt sad for the loss of lives. He shook his head behind his helmet and turned back to watch as his Knights knocked her to her feet, her little blade flying away as she crawled back against the wall, covering her face as Vicrul brought down his scythe.

The blow never landed.

The Knights all turned to their Master, who was now holding the scythe mid swing with the Force, Kylo tilted his head to the side, the scythe flying across the room as his metallic voice crackled out monotonously.

"That's enough, leave us." He watched his Knights turn and stalk out into the chaos, slowly closing the hut door and approaching her. She whimpered and Kylo felt his heart crack.

He didn't even know that was possible anymore.

He knelt down in front of her, but when he raised his hands to show her he was unarmed she flinched away. He cursed himself as he realized that not holding a weapon would mean nothing, he was a weapon.

"I won't hurt you" he could see her eying her knife across the room and he slowly brought it into the air, turning it handle-first to hover it over to her. She looked at him, eyes darting between his mask and the blade which was now comfortably in reach.

"Take it, it's yours" she bit her lip and that was when realization hit him. She didn't know what he was saying, she didn't understand him.

And that voice modulator wasn't helping.

He held up a finger and pointed to his helmet, ensuring the door was locked before he slowly took the helmet off, revealing his scared face and sad eyes. He watched her own gaze widen as she took in the hideous scar.

"Basic?" He remembered his mother teaching him how to approach people who didn't understand the language, how small sentences and slower speech were necessary, but not to completely destroy the proper syntax. She swallowed thickly and pinched her fingers together, stuttering out softly.

"Little" her voice flooded Kylo's ears like music and he breathed in relief through his nose, feeling the corner of his lip turn up in a smile.

"I'm Kylo Ren" he pressed a palm flat against his chest, tapping as he repeated his name.

"Kylo Ren" she furrowed her brow and nodded, testing out his name on her tongue.

"Keelo ran?" He shook his head, scooting forward slightly on the floor as he watched her shoulders drop, guards beginning to let down.

"KY-LOW R-EN" he didn't feel impatient or annoyed, which was also new. He just wanted her to say his name. She swallowed thickly and tried again.

"Kylo Ren" Kylo nodded, almost excited flashed her a tiny smile so she knew she was correct. He tapped his chest again and repeated himself.

"I'm Kylo Ren, who are you?" Instead of pointing, he held his hand open with the pals facing up, merely gesturing in her direction, lest she belief him to be using the Force again.

The woman tapped her own chest, looking at him with big eyes as she whispered softly.

"I Lila" her thick accent warbled the name and he furrowed his brow in concentration, speaking softly as he repeated her.

"Lee-la" she shook her head, pressing he hand against her chest again, causing her skin to glimmer in the light coming through the window.

"No. LIE-LA" he smiled at her mimicking him and nodded, saying her name again.

"Lila" she smiled briefly, face falling almost instantly as she remembered that she was supposed to be afraid. He took the moment in to observe her and take a good look at her for the first time.

Her dress was torn, various gashes and cuts decoration her arms and legs, her bare feet shredded at the bottom and her split lip and bruised forehead let him know exactly what his Knights had been doing when he found them.

"Lila, you are safe with me" he said softly, extending a hand. He had no idea how he was going to rationalize this to Snoke - or Hux not that he gave two shits about him - but he couldn't let this woman die. The screams from outside were beginning to taper off and Kylo knew without needing to check that between his Knights and Phasma's Stormtroopers there would be no one left in this village.

Except Lila.

He watched as she battled with herself for several moments, grip fluctuating on the handle of her blade as she considered him.

"I'll keep you safe" he murmured again. They'd be looking for him soon, and if he didn't get her to agree there'd be no other option and he couldn't let that happen.

"Please" she looked up at him and blinked a tear from her eye, sniffing.

"I am afraid" he nodded and took off his cape, holding it open in invitation.

“I know you are, but if you come with me you won't have to be" she inches towards him and Kylo considered it a massive win.

"Safe, with Kylo Ren?" He nodded almost wildly, desperate for her to just agree so they could leave.

Only to almost jump a foot in the air when she lunged into his open arms, tangling them both in his cape as she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his jugular.

"I am safe" he nodded and hugged her back gently, his body on fire from her touch.

It'd been so long since someone hugged him.

"You're safe, now come here" he pulled away and wrapped his cape tightly around her, sliding his helmet back on before scooping her into his arms like she weighed nothing. He gently turned her face into his chest and murmured softly.

"Close your eyes" she followed the command thoughtlessly pressing her face into his black armor as he swiftly exited the hut towards his ship. He kept his own gaze forward, for the first time in years being unable to stomach and death around him.


	2. Chapter 2

"She appears to be a mixed breed" Kylo looked at the medic through his mask, waiting for her to continue - which she did nervously.

"The blue shimmer under her skin combined with the shape of her ears would lead me to believe that she is part Chiss, but her beauty and eyes would also indicate she is part Hapan as well – but her DNA makeup is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. She clearly wasn’t one of the Kaminoan" Kylo shook his head, looking through the glass at the beautiful woman, her injuries had been attended to, now as she sat on the medical bench in a pair of black leggings and one of Kylo's massive long sleeve shirts, bare feet swinging back and forth lazily as she surveyed the room Kylo realized why he'd been so drawn to her.

He could feel it, the Force.

He gently prodded at her mind, causing her to look up at him with surprised eyes. He wished he wasn’t wearing his mask, so she could see how gentle his intentions were.

He tried to convey it through the Force and she swallowed thickly, her shields slowly, _slowly_ lowering bit by bit. He knew he could force himself through if he wanted to, but he didn’t want to.

For the first time since Kylo had joined the Dark Side, he didn’t want to _take_ what he wanted. He wanted it willingly given because she wanted to share.

He was so confused.

_Please, Lila. I need to know who you are to keep you safe._

She blinked at him and murmured softly, hand going to her temple.

“Kylo Ren?” the medic looked at him in confusion and he quickly retracted himself from her mind, turning back to the medic and keeping his tone impassive.

“Have her brought to my quarters – and get her some shoes!” The medic and Lila flinched at his furious tone and he turned and stormed out.

And right into General Hux.

“What do you want!?” Hux smirked smugly and looked at him, nodding to the door where the Stormtroopers were guiding the petite humanoid towards the Commander’s quarters. Kylo let out a growl and pulled Hux’s attention back to him.

“Something you wish to say, General?” Hux smiled evilly and sneered.

“Got yourself a new toy hmm? I wonder how Supreme Leader Snoke will feel about that? What a pretty little thing” Kylo gripped at Hux’s throat through the Force, reveling in his shocked expression as he squeezed harder than he ever had before.

“Stay away from her – this is your _only_ warning” Hux collapsed, chest heaving as he took in air, eyes wide as Kylo carelessly stepped around him, off to speak with the Supreme Leader, it was better to get it over with.

Then he would need to meditate.

* * *

“Why is there an Orinian on my ship!” Kylo flinched from his knelt position in the throne room, eyes going wide at the statement.

“Supreme Leader, the Orinians have long been extinct” Snoke snarled and quirked a finger, dragging Kylo’s body across the throne room.

“I know an enemy of the Empire when I see one, Kylo Ren. Ice hair, iridescent skin and Force Sensitive. Truly you are not so stupid as to doubt me?” Kylo struggled against his master’s hold to shake his head.

“O-of course not Supreme Leader” Snoke narrowed his eyes and Kylo let out a pained cry as he invaded his mind.

“More compassion, you are failing me Commander” Kylo let out a pained grunt, shaking his head as he felt his nose bleed.

“N-no Supreme Leader. If she is who you say she is, is it n-not better we have her, as opposed to allowing the Resistance to c-corrupt her?” Kylo knew he was talking out his ass, and that if Snoke didn’t like what he had to say it wouldn’t matter. Snoke glared at him for several moments, boring into his eyes with his own narrowed gaze as he continued to tear around his mind. Kylo gritted his teeth, willing himself to keep it hidden without the notice of his master. He had to keep her safe, it wasn’t negotiable at this point. He knew now, Snoke would have her killed without a second thought. Kylo couldn’t let that happen.

Snoke finally released his hold on the young man, Kylo collapsing in exhaustion as he leaned back in his great chair.

“Fine, I shall allow this – for now. But watch yourself, Commander Ren. Insolence will not be rewarded, have I made myself clear?” Kylo coughed and nodded, forcing himself to his feet, trying to hide how much pain he was in.

“Yes Supreme Leader, as you wish” he placed his helmet back on his head, turning and storming out of the throne room, flanked by his Knights as he rushed through the _Supremacy_ and back to his quarters.

* * *

When he finally shut the door to his quarters, he took a moment to lean against the door and sighed heavily, pulling off his helmet and looking at himself in the only mirror in his entire chambers. His nose was still bleeding, he had dark bags under his eyes and his sweat-drenched hair was clinging to his clammy skin.

"What are you doing Ren?" he murmured to himself, swallowing thickly as he placed the helmet back over his head to hide his appearance, stepping further into the apartment. He could feel his chest stuttering again as he finally spotted Lila.

She was precariously balanced on his tiny window-sill, knees hugged to her chest as she looked out at the stars. Her boots lay forgotten on the floor and her hands were completely disappeared under the long sleeves of his shirt, she’d tied her long hair back into a loose ponytail with a piece of string, her pointed ears twitching at the sound of movement before turning her head to find him in her crystalline gaze.

“Kylo Ren” she smiled at him softly and climbed off the sill, slowly padding towards him in the dark room. It was too dark for her, she deserved light.

Kylo flinched at his own train of thought.

Lila looked at him with soft eyes, her features growing concerned as she walked towards him, slowly reaching for the helmet as her sleeves slid down her arms, revealing her dainty hands.

“What are you doing?” he looked at her through his eye-ports and watched as she didn’t hesitate in her reach for him.

“You are hurt, show me” he swallowed thickly, unable to move as she slowly removed the helmet, taking him in with sad eyes. She reached towards him and he flinched away, her eyes took over a look of understanding and she slowed her hand down.

“I can help” Kylo stood still as she rested a soft hand on the side of his face and he could feel his headache disappearing. He looked at her with wide eyes and she stepped away, smiling softly and biting her lip. She nodded as she bounced on the balls of her feet.

“Do you feel better, Kylo Ren?” he cleared his throat and looked at her in shock.

“Yes, thank you Lila” she nodded and turned back to sit on the window-sill, looking out at the stars. He slowly followed her and knelt down next to her.

“How are you feeling?” Lila tilted her head to the side, looking into the endless sky as his he studied her profile.

“I am afraid, but I know I safe with Kylo Ren. They give me a Basic book, I think I will start reading it” Kylo smiled at her, nodding.

“You are safe with me, I swear” she turned to him and narrowed her eyes.

“I am prisoner?” he shook his head, gazing up at her with honey brown eyes.

“No, who told you that?” Lila shrugged, looking for all the world like she was just sitting with a companion, and not on board the massive Dreadnought with the Commander of the First Order.

“Everyone speaks freely when they do not believe I understand” Kylo furrowed his brow and she sighed heavily.

“Are you going to kill me, Kylo Ren?” Kylo gaped at her but she didn’t turn her head.

“They said my kind is a threat to the Empire, that we are enemy. They said you bring me here to kill me.”

“No, I didn’t bring you here to kill you. You are my guest, you are safe. Like I promised” Lila smiled softly, nodding to herself as she played with her fingers.

“Kylo Ren, you are good. And I thank you” Kylo nodded and the two sat in silence again, looking out at the stars.

He wasn't good, not even a little. But if believing that made her feel safe, then he'd let her believe it.


	3. Chapter 3

“I need all the information you have on the Orion System” the research team looked at the masked man in nervous confusion.

“Apologies, Commander, but the Orinian race has been deceased for years, most records on them were erased, deemed obsolete” Kylo flung the technician across the room and looked to the crowd.

“Anyone else have something they would like to share?” the researchers were silent, rushing about to find the information as Kylo stormed out of the department.

* * *

He was exhausted. His room only had one bed and he had all too willingly given it to the girl, electing to sleep on the floor where he had been subjected to the nightmares of his father’s death – at his own hand – and the rejection of his mother. He had awoken with tears in his eyes and had angrily clung to his grandfather’s relic, desperate for a comfort he never received. He gently prodded at the Force, trying again to find Rey, only to feel the presence emanating from his own quarters. He bit back a sigh and clenched his gloved fists, he had discovered the _Dyad_ which connected him and Rey. But this connection was something different, where the Dyad was a tumultuous living thing, hostile and welcoming, loud and silent; this connection with Lila was different, always calm, like a peaceful stream just bubbling under the surface of his consciousness. He didn’t understand it, and he hated that.

He hated that over the last two days, he’d clung to the presence of the woman in his quarters. The last of her kind in a way even the Sith and Jedi would never understand. Her ability to retain Basic was astounding, and aside from her melodic accent there were very little errors in her speech – although in fairness, her speech had been limited to quiet talks with Kylo about his intentions with her. She seemed so calm, practically naïve in how she just blindly believed everything he said. However, he’d been yet to lie to her. He needed to understand _her_. He needed to understand why she was so calm, why she was so happy to see him every time he walked into the chambers, no matter what hour. He needed to understand why she was so captivated with the stars, and why when he was with her he didn’t feel like Kylo Ren.

And that was dangerous.

A hesitant cough brought his attention back to the present as Lila shuffled on his bed. He turned to watch her in the starlight and was surprised when he found her sitting up on the bed.

“Kylo? Are you sleeping?” he wiped at a rogue tear, clearing his throat and pretending to stretch as he sat up, looking at her in the shadow.

“Not now, what’s wrong?” he was surprised when she said nothing, turning instead to crawl off the bed and walk towards him on the floor, pillow in hand. He felt his mouth go dry as she wordlessly curled in next to him, tucking herself under the blankets and pressing herself against his side.

“I know you are tired. Sleep, I’ll keep your bad dreams away” Kylo stared at her as he slowly lay back down, too worried he’d break the spell of her there if he tried to move them to the bed.

“Thank you” she smiled and looked at him.

“Tell me of your family, Kylo Ren” Kylo felt the traitorous tears pricking his eyes as he shook his head.

“I-I don’t have one, I lost it” Lila’s eyes turned sad and she grabbed his hand unthinkingly, her little palm swallowed in his.

“I lost mine too. Our lives, they are sad aren’t they?” Kylo let out a mirthless laugh and nodded as she smiled at him.

“Do you have a favourite memory with your family, before they were lost?” Kylo struggled to keep his demeanour, the door he’d locked so tightly shut banging loudly in his mind to open.

“My dad, h-he had these gold dice that he said were good luck. W-when I went to live with my uncle he gave them to me. They always hung in the cockpit of his ship, so it was a pretty big deal when he gave them to me” he didn’t realize he was crying until Lila reached up to wipe the tear away.

“You miss him” Kylo let out a ragged breath, trying desperately not to cry as he whispered painfully.

“Every time I breathe” Lila’s own eyes filled with tears and she gently reached up to run a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry for your pain, Kylo Ren. I’m sure your father would be very pro-“

 _“No_ ” Kylo hissed, desperate to cut her off before she said something so untrue. Even if she didn’t know it was. She looked at him in confusion and he shook his head, turning away from her on the floor.

“Let’s just sleep, goodnight Lila” he could feel her hesitate behind him, thrown off by his change in demeanour and nodded.

“Okay, goodnight Kylo Ren” he felt her press up against his back with her own, a sudden calming aura enveloping him like a gentle wave as her Force wrapped around his, lulling him into the first peaceful sleep he’d had in his memory.

“No bad dreams this night”

* * *

Kylo was standing on the bridge, looking over the information on the Orion system. His heart feeling heavier with each piece of information.

Orion had remained neutral during the battle between the Republic and the Empire. It hadn’t allowed either side refuge on its planet, accepting only the innocents caught in the crossfire.

But that wasn’t good enough for Palpatine.

The Orinions were the only race which carried a 99.9% Force-Sensitivity rate. They would be invaluable allies, or formidable enemies. Palpatine hadn’t wanted to take the risk of Orion choosing the Republic.

So he’d destroyed the planet instead.

According to the records, it was believed that less than one percent of the Orinions had made it off the planet.

With that math, it was likely that Lila was the last of her species. Her parents likely the last couple of purebred Orinions.

Kylo ached with how lonely that must feel.

He looked over at the information on the species itself, flinching when he read that they were Force-empathic. She could feel his emotions through the Force, similar to Rey. The only difference was she felt it like she was experiencing it. With the exact same level of ferocity Kylo was.

That meant she had experienced every single emotion his nightmares had brought forward. He finally got to the miscellaneous information and felt his chest stutter yet again. Above all else, Orinions valued total and complete honesty, anything less than was considered a form of disrespect to their culture.

Kylo most certainly did _not_ spend his entire thirteenth year learning how to keep all delegates happy only to blow it with her. He turned sharply, causing Hux to jump from his position next to him and stormed back towards his quarters.

He had to fix something.

* * *

The door slammed open and Lila jolted from where she was sitting on the bed reading, watching as Kylo walked into the room with purpose. She could feel the stress in his body like her own and she was already exhausted from the turmoil which followed him around.

He was in so much pain. _All the time._

“Kylo Ren? Is every-“

“My name is Ben.” The two froze as _Ben_ looked at his feet.

“I changed it, after I lost my family – but my birth name is Benjamin.” Lila looked at him for a moment and a slow smile bloomed across her face.

“I like your name Ben. Thank you for telling me, may I use it?” Ben shook his head, then paused.

“No, it – no.” Lila nodded sadly and slowly stepped forward, gently reaching out to him.

“You are troubled, may I help?” Kylo let out a frustrated laugh and shook his head.

“It’s nothing you would understand” Lila hummed, forcing Kylo’s arms open and pulling him into a hug.

He could feel his chest starting to shake as all the stress from the past few days began to ebb from his shoulders. Lila let out a soft hum and smiled to herself.

“I do not need to understand to help, I only need to care” Kylo nodded, unable to move as the warmth engulfed him.

He couldn’t remember the last time someone had held him. The last time someone had openly said they _cared_.

His own mother had ulterior motives, how was he supposed to believe this woman. She pulled back and looked up at him with sparkling blue eyes.

“Are you hungry? I can cook, it will taste much better than the Mess Hall food I am sure” Kylo nodded dumbly, watching as she slowly pulled out of his arms to walk towards his kitchenette.

“You do not have much food Kylo Ren, you are lucky I am such a gifted cook” Kylo floundered as he realized that was humour coming from the dainty lips and let out a breathless sound – the closest to a laugh he’d had in years – and darted over to the counter.

“Make me a list of the food you want. You’ll have it by end of day tomorrow, you have my word” Lila laughed like a tinkling bell and Kylo slid onto one of the high seats to keep his knees from buckling.

“Very well, I shall make a list for you. But you should make sure to get what you like as well.” Kylo watched as she turned her back to him to begin boiling water, no hesitation at the thought of having the Commander out of her line of sight.

She wasn’t afraid of him.

He stared with wide eyes as she turned back around, dropping some vegetables and a small blade in front of him.

“Please peel these for me, I will chop the others” Kylo nodded, feeling the tension of his day slowly melting out of his shoulders.

Was this how the married officers felt? Going back to their quarters after their shift and just being domestic?

Did it bring them as much piece as it did him?

He was so lost in thought he jolted when he accidentally cut his thumb he jumped. Lila turned and her eyes went wide.

“You’re hurt?” Kylo tried to brush it off, but the white-haired maiden had already gripped his hand in her own, curling her other hand around his thumb and closing her eyes.

To say he was shocked when she released it good as new was an understatement.

“How did you do that?” Lila shrugged, dumping the vegetables into the pot as the rich aroma began to fill the apartment, causing Kylo’s stomach to clench.

“I do not know, I have always had this ability” Kylo looked at her and bit his lip.

“Thank you” she smiled at him brightly and turned her attention back to the pot.

“You are welcome, Kylo Ren”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Please be advised that the following chapter contains the descriptions of injuries and the aftermath of torture.

“Bring her to me” Kylo froze under his mask as Snoke echoed out the command.

“Supreme Leader?” Kylo prayed he’d heard him wrong, but Hux’s own snicker already confirmed that’d he’d heard correctly.

“I want to see for myself that she is no enemy of the Order” Kylo dropped to a knee, willing the desperation out of his voice as he spoke.

“With respect, Supreme Leader. I have investigated her mind many times, she is no threat” Snoke snarled and even Hux flinched next to the Commander, shocked at Ren’s inability to just follow orders.

“You were also the one who allowed an Orinion on my ship without my permission, forgive me if I do not consider your word your bond.” Kylo let out his own snarl and Hux cleared his throat.

“Perhaps, Supreme Leader, I could interrogate the girl first? I sort of secondary screening if you will, it allows you more time to build your strength.” Kylo turned, breath heavy in his mask as he registered Hux’s words.

He would torture her.

Snoke leaned back in his chair, nodding.

“Very well, mind yourself Commander Ren, never forget that _I_ made you what you are” Kylo nodded jerkily, spinning on his heel and storming from the room with a fury that startled the Stormtroopers guarding the door.

He couldn’t breathe.

* * *

“Ren! Wait!” Kylo spun, holding a finger in warning inches from Hux’s face. Hux looked nervous for a moment before pulling himself together, glaring at the masked man.

“You should be _thanking_ me” Kylo loomed over him, weighing the pros and cons of snapping his neck as the ginger-haired man turned smug.

“Because, I just saved your little pet’s life.” He froze, grateful that he was wearing his mask so Hux couldn’t see him gaping like a fish.

“You did this to be able to play with your new torture table. Don’t patronize me with lies of loyalty.” Kylo turned away, trying to get to his room before the Stormtroopers did as Hux yelled out behind him.

“The body can recover! Do you really think her mind would?!” but the Commander didn’t answer, already disappearing into a lift. Hux watched him go and swallowed thickly. He wasn’t stupid, Ren was clearly affected over this decision to interrogate the girl. Ren was never affected by anything, he’d killed his own father for kriff’s sake.

But that hand had only been inches from Hux’s face. And it had been shaking violently.

If the idea of her hurt bothered Ren that much, it wouldn’t bode well for anyone else.

Hux would have to make sure he was thorough enough so he could persuade Snoke to leave her alone. For everyone’s sake.

* * *

“Kylo Ren!” Kylo could have collapsed into the floor when he rushed into his room to see her on the windowsill, looking at the stars. She turned to him with a smile and he rushed towards her, throwing his helmet carelessly as he fell to his knees in front of her.

“Forgive me, I’m so sorry, I _tried_ –“ alarm was clear in her crystal orbs as she fell down next to him, holding his head in her hands.

“What, Kylo, you are shaking. What is wr-“ there was a knock at the door and Kylo barely had them both standing before the Stormtroopers invaded the room. Lila gripped his cape nervously as Kylo tried to keep himself composed. She looked at him nervously as Hux entered last, looking almost pained.

Kylo made a mental note to fling him across the bridge during their next rotation.

“Young lady, I need you to come with us.” Lila shook her head, stepping into Kylo’s side like he could somehow stop this. She looked at Hux, eyes raking over the Stormtroopers who she already had trust issues with.

“No thank you, I would stay with Kylo Ren. I am his guest” Kylo flinched at his own words used against him as Hux chuckled.

“No my dear, you may not be in a cell but I assure you, you are no guest. Now, come along” the Stormtroopers advanced on her and she jumped behind Kylo’s motionless frame instinctively. Her fear was becoming palpable in the room and Kylo turned to the General.

“Is this necessary, she’s the size of a pixie” Hux rolled his eyes, knowing full well the Commander was stalling.

The Stormtroopers grabbed her and she tried to jerk away.

“Kylo Ren, help me” she turned to him with wide eyes and he swallowed thickly, looking away as his chest heaved. If Hux saw the emotions in his face, he was (for once) smart enough not to mention it.

Lila made a last desperate grab at Ren, snatching a handful of his black tunic and staring into his eyes.

“You said I was safe with you” the words hit like a physical blow as she gazed up at him in betrayed confusion. She attempted to break out of the hold again and Kylo felt his own soul crack when he held her in place, murmuring softly.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be, don’t fight them” Lila stepped out of his arms, eyes going cold as she bared her teeth at him.

“You lie to me” the Troopers grabbed her by her biceps and she began kicking her legs, Kylo fleetingly noticing that she was barefoot _again_.

“I trusted you! You lie to me Kylo Ren! _You are a liar!”_ her shrill screams echoed down the hall as Kylo stared at his feet.

He never thought being called a liar would hurt worse than Monster.

Hux looked at him hesitantly.

“I won’t do any permanent damage. Just enough to get her to-“ Hux let out a pained cry as Kylo slammed him across the apartment, out the open door and into the wall across the hallway. The door slamming closed behind him as Kylo fell to his knees, his chest stuttered and as he reached up to try to calm it he felt something drip onto his hand. He looked down through blurred vision and gasped at the tear he found there, reaching up to his face and realizing they were falling from his eyes unchecked. He gritted his teeth as his chest heaved, trying to stop it as his emotions bubbled up. He inhaled deeply and let out a furious roar as he gripped his hair, pressing his forehead into the floor and clenching his eyes shut.

A liar was worse than a monster.

* * *

It was well after midnight when there was a soft knock at Kylo’s door. He moved his stiff frame from its position on the floor, where he hadn’t moved since Lila had been taken early that morning.

He flung the door open wildly, uncaring of his appearance as Hux looked back at him levelly. The two men appraised each other and that was when Kylo noticed the figure sway gently behind Hux.

It took everything in him not to gasp at the sight.

Lila’s hair was matted, tangled and cut in some places, rust coloured streaks of blood could easily be seen. Her left eye was swollen shut and her right eye was well on its way to joining it. Her nose was also swollen, a clear sign that it had been broken and likely repaired by a medical droid. Her pointed ears had clearly been burned and he could see the missing fingernails even from her position against the opposite wall. Her lip had stitches, and she was holding her side in a way that informed Kylo that the damage was much more extensive underneath her clothes.

He turned to Hux and snarled low, and the General avoided eye-contact as he spoke unexpectedly soft.

“You’re right, she doesn’t know anything. I recorded it to show Snoke, hopefully it will dissuade him from wanting to conduct his own interrogation. Her wounds have been attended and she will make a full recover with minimal scarring.” Kylo stared at him in shock as the words registered and Hux finally looked at him.

“You may be a mangy hound Ren, but everyone knows to run when a stray dog is scared. This was the best I could do” Hux jerked his head and the Stormtrooper holding Lila up gingerly pulled her from the wall, leading the aggressively limping woman to the door. Hux and the Trooper scurried away and he gently ushered her into the apartment, hands shaking as he tried to figure out how to _fix it_. He slowly reached out to her and she jumped violently, an involuntary whimper escaping her. Ren snatched away as if he’d been burned, horrible realization filling him.

She thought he was going to hurt her too.

“Lila – Lila _please_. Let me help” she looked at him through one bloodshot eye and raised her chin defiantly, baring her teeth as she spoke in a harsh voice.

“You do not deserve to help me” with that, she turned as quickly as her injuries would allow and hobbled to the bathroom. Kylo rushed to get her the softest, loosest clothes he owned when he heard the gut wrenching wail that erupted from the bathroom. He fell to his knees outside the bathroom door, the joints groaning at being in that position again but he refused to budge. Even when the muffled sobs became too great for her to try and hide, causing them to echo through his suite, each one landing like its own blow on his heart.

She was right, he didn’t deserve to help her.

He didn’t deserve anything.


	5. Chapter 5

“You need to eat, it’s been days” Kylo gently slid the plate closer to her as she turned away, the swelling had gone down in her eyes, leaving two nasty shiners in their wake. She’d bandaged her own fingertips to protect them from infection and Kylo had ordered in a special burn salve for her ears.

Which she refused to touch.

She looked up from where she was hiding her face in her knees, sitting on the windowsill again as she glared at him, speaking hoarsely.

“Did you poison it Kylo Ren?” he flinched at the lifeless tone and shook his head.

“No, I promise” she laughed coldly through her nose and turned back out to the sky.

“Liars promise many things” Kylo looked at her with a wounded expression, he deserved all of her cruelty, he knew that. He knew the fact he was even still breathing and that she hadn’t attempted to kill him was a blessing.

But he wished she had.

“I can try it first, prove it’s safe to eat” he just wanted her to look at him again, wanted to see those blue eyes just one more time.

“I have no desire to eat your food Kylo Ren, you eat all of it” Kylo locked his jaw in an attempt to swallow back his tears. He set the plate down and felt the last of his resolve crumble away, coughing to clear his throat and surprised at the devastated noise that escaped him instead. She glanced up at the noise, but his back was to her, pressing his palm increasingly harder against his mouth to suppress his anguish.

“Move your hand” Kylo froze at the cold tone behind him, turning to look at the hard eyes staring at him.

“I did not have the luxury of hiding my pain, why should you get to hide yours? Move your hand” Kylo followed the command instinctively, gripping the table behind him for some sort of grounding as another angry sob ripped through him. Lila’s own eyes filled with tears and she gritted her teeth at him.

“You _lied_ to me Kylo Ren. I am not safe here. You are not _good_ -“ she was cut off as an anguished wail rivaling her own from the first night exploded through the room, Kylo’s knees giving up on him completely as he crashed to the floor.

_“I’m so sorry, stars forgive me I tried!_ I tried to dissuade him, I tried to stop it _all_. He would’ve killed you – he’s been wanting to kill you since you boarded this forsaken ship! I’m a liar, I’m a liar and monster and you should be as far away from me as possible. I tried to stop it, I never meant to lie! _I’m sorry_ ” Lila gasped as he heaved onto the floor, wrapping his arms around himself as though he could hold himself together. She stepped off the windowsill, toddling to him on shaky legs as he watched her with devastated eyes. She knelt down next to him and studied him for several moments, eyes calculating.

“Your pain is real, but how do I believe your words? How do I trust you now?” Kylo looked at her tear-filled eyes with his own, voice breaking on the words.

“I don’t know”

* * *

Kylo willed his hands to stop shaking as he gingerly rubbed the salve over the tips of her ears. She inhaled sharply through her nose but didn’t pull away as he knelt in front of her.

He noticed the tears in her eyes and he pulled his hand away, swallowing thickly as he looked up at her.

“I could get a droid to do this? They’re much more delicate than I am” she shook her head as a shudder wracked her petite frame.

“No droids, they hurt” Kylo swallowed back the urge to vomit at the realization and closed his eyes.

“Okay, no droids” he gently applied the salve liberally, knowing she didn’t need anywhere near as much as he was applying. But it was a smoother application, and it wasn’t like he couldn’t order more. They sat in silence for a while before she whispered softly.

“Why did they hurt me?” Kylo flinched and hung his head.

“It was to test me. They said they wanted to know about the Resistance and when I told them you didn’t know anything, they didn’t believe me. My Master was going to invade your mind, it would have-“ he found himself unable to finish the sentence as she turned to look at him over her shoulder.

“They would have killed me” Kylo nodded and she looked at him with tear-filled eyes.

“Don’t let them hurt me again _Ben_ ” the word hung in the air like a gauntlet being thrown down and he felt himself begin shaking.

“I won’t”

“Prove it” Kylo nodded, feeling her lean back against his chest as she looked out at the stars. He tried to keep his breathing even, willing his heart to stop pounding as she curled against him.

She touched him too much.

She didn’t touch him enough.

He could feel that tiny little crack in his chest, the one he hadn’t been able to cover over in the wake of his father’s death begin to chip away at the rest of him.

He really hoped Snoke couldn’t see anything. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to press his face into her hair, _slowly_ wrapping his arms around her and steadying her against him.

“I will.”

* * *

“Phasma” the Trooper Captain immediately straightened at the lethal voice behind her, turning to appraise Ren respectfully.

“Commander Ren, what can I do for you?” their modulated voices echoed in the hall and Ren quickly ushered her into a nearby conference room.

“As I’m sure you’re aware, I have a guest in my quarters and there have been some _questions_ as to the extent of her safety on board this vessel” Phasma nodded as she began to realize the extent of the request being made. Kylo removed his helmet as her red flags began flying.

“Commander?”

“I want you to keep her safe, guard her with your life – do you understand?” Phasma removed her own helmet, staring at him wide-eyed.

“This is not to be an official request, this is not to be known to anyone else is that clear. Should anything happen to her, it will be _you_ I hold responsible. Is that clear?” Phasma nodded once curtly. His tone was firm, but his eyes were wild with fear and Phasma began to realize that this wasn’t a Commander and Captain talking anymore.

“You have my word sir”

* * *

“Scavenger”

_“Monster”_ Ren ignored the sharp pang of her curt voice as he looked at her projection.

“I’m not here to argue – I’m here to make a request?” Rey snarled and activated her saber, but when Ren didn’t raise his own she froze.

_“What is it?”_ Kylo swallowed thickly and looked at her with his wounded gaze.

“There is a woman on board my ship – the last Orinian woman. I’m doing all I can to keep her safe without raising suspicion, but when you inevitably reach my ship I must ask that you take her with you as a refugee. She has no standing in this fight, the only reason I even keep her on board is because I am the only thing standing between her and Snoke’s wrath” Rey blinked at the shakiness of Kylo’s voice.

He was _scared_.

_“Ren…”_

“Relay the information to General Organa – I will not assist you in taking down my Order, but I won’t allow her to be collateral damage, not this time” Rey barely had the time to respond before Kylo disappeared again, leaving her alone in the clearing. She turned quickly and rushed back towards the base.

“Leia!”

* * *

Lila looked up as the door opened, Phasma immediately standing with her blaster pointed at the figure.

“Kylo Ren” her voice lacked the enthusiasm it used to, but the warmth was starting to come back into her tone.

He considered it a victory.

“Captain Phasma, you are dismissed” Phasma nodded and turned to nod respectfully as Lila before exiting the quarters. Ben slowly walked towards her and removed his helmet. She slowly crawled off the windowsill and approached him hesitantly. He tried to keep his voice soft as he spoke gently.

“Was Phasma good company?” Lila smirked and cocked her head to the side as she considered.

“The Captain is rigid, but not unkind” Kylo smirked at the diplomatic response and nodded, setting his helmet on the nearby table.

“Have you eaten?” Lila shook her head and followed him to the kitchen, most of her injuries had healed over, but there was still a slight limp in her walk that Kylo was keenly aware of.

“I’m not much of a cook, but my mother taught me a soup recipe when I was young that is quite filling, I could make that for you if you like?” he knew winning her trust back was an uphill battle, but please let her see that he was _trying_.

Lila studied him for several seconds before smiling softly.

“May I help?” Kylo swallowed back the sudden surge of emotion and nodded, slowly sliding the tray of vegetables over for her to begin chopping as he started on the broth. He turned to her and cleared his throat.

“So, tell me about your day” Lila appraised him for a moment before smiling, telling him about the book she was reading and her games of chess with Phasma throughout the day.

For the first time in his life, Kylo was beginning to feel like he belonged somewhere.

And that somewhere was wherever Lila was.


	6. Chapter 6

“Why are you doing this?” Kylo looked up with wide eyes as Lila looked at the bed he was making up on the floor. He cleared his throat and looked back down at the mess of sheets, he wasn’t sure how to answer. How was he supposed to tell her that the only reason she wasn’t in an over-crowded cell – or worse – because he had lied and convinced everyone that she was in solitary confinement after Hux’s _interrogation_? He held them in his hands, feeling for all the world like a scolded child, suddenly embarrassed.

This was no way for the Commander of the First Order to be sleeping. This was no position for the Master of the Knights of Ren.

But the idea of her on the couch (which was far too small for his hulking frame) or on the floor made his skin crawl.

Lila must’ve realized there was no answer for him to give, as she sighed softly and pulled back the sheets on the bed.

“Come” Ren was sure he was gaping like a fish as she held his gaze. She raised an eyebrow and studied him with a small smirk.

“This bed is large, there is no reason why we cannot share. I know your sleeping arrangement is causing you physical discomfort, and I am aware of the privilege I hold to be able to even sleep in these quarters – let alone _your_ bed. Come sleep,” a playful smile tugged at her lips as he studied her.

“I promise I will not kill you” Ren swallowed thickly and slowly stood, his joints crying out in delight at the seductive idea of sleeping on a _mattress_ again. But there were other parts of his body who were screaming in absolute terror at the idea.

Mainly in his chest.

“I want you to feel comfortable-“

“I will be more comfortable knowing the person in charge of my protection is well rested, as opposed to stiff and uncoordinated due to poor sleeping arrangements” Kylo nodded as he conceded the point, slowly laying down next to her flat on his back. He laced his fingers together on his stomach and stared at the ceiling, holding himself rigidly as she giggled in the darkness, rolling onto her back to mimic him.

“This is how you sleep in bed?” Kylo nodded, his tongue too thick to speak as she glanced up at him.

“It is not very comfortable”

“I’m not normally sharing it with someone”

“We have slept together on the floor before, or do you not remember?” he clicked his jaw at her soft words. Of course he remembered, that had been the best sleep he’d had in _weeks._

“That was different, we were on the floor” Lila suddenly burst into laughter, voice echoing musically off the walls of his bare apartment. He tried to maintain his composure but soon he felt his own smile tugging at his lips as her laughter filled his ears.

She rolled onto her side and watched as he turned his head to look at her. He wasn’t an idiot, regardless of what Hux thought. He knew how he felt. She smiled at him as her laughter died down and she sat up to look down at him.

He wasn’t entirely sure how someone dressed in his black sweater and a pair of regulation issues sleep pants could look so beautiful, but she took his breath away. He felt his mouth go dry as she gently grabbed his hands, prying them apart and spreading his right arm across the bed, immediately ducking down to lay on it. She rested her head on his chest and reached over awkwardly to bring his arm around her again, lacing the fingers of his other hand together over his sternum.

“There, is this not so much more comfortable?” Kylo let out a soft rumble, unable to form words at the feeling of having her so close. She pressed against him and hummed softly as her head shuffled on his chest.

“Your heart, it beats so fast” he swallowed and cleared his throat gently.

“Yeah, it does that sometimes” he risked a look down and noticed her looking up at him softly.

“Is that normal?” Ren surprised himself by squeezing their joined hands, rubbing his other on her arm in a comforting manner as he whispered softly.

“When I’m with you it is” she smiled and laid her head back down, breathing deeply and closing her eyes.

“Mine does too” Kylo pressed his face into her hair, breathing her in as he allowed himself to drift off to sleep, holding her close.

* * *

“And you’re _positive_ he said Orinian?” Poe asserted, staring down at Rey with wide eyes.

“Absolutely – and he’s afraid. I’m not sure if he’s fully convinced of his beliefs anymore, he even told me exactly where she’d be and how to get her out” Leia’s eyes filled with tears and she clicked her jaw.

“I think he cares for her, to be completely honest” Finn snorted and shook his head.

“The day Kylo Ren cares about anything other than himself, I’ll stop believing in the Force” Leia looked at him sharply and Finn flinched as he remembered her relationship with the Commander.

“Kylo Ren may be our enemy – but no one can deny he is nothing if not passionate. It’s just where his passions lie that cause such destruction.” Poe scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed.

“I still don’t get it though, how can he care so much for this one person? She has nothing to offer him, he said so himself?”

“That’s because she offers him the one thing no one else can” the group turned as Maz walked into the room with Chewie, smiling as she walked up to the table.

“I remember the Orinians well, a good and peaceful people, but completely useless to either side” Rey cocked her head to the side, sitting down next to the old woman.

“What do you mean Maz?” Maz smiled and patted her hand.

“They were the only planet in our universe where the population held a 98% Force-Sensitive rate, but they did not confirm to the rules of the Jedi or Sith. Instead they harnessed their abilities to understand the world around them and the souls living in it. They refused to choose a side because they could still see the good in the evil – and the evil in the good. Palpatine believed that they would be the downfall of his Empire, so he had them destroyed after the Empire took over. A few who still stood with the old Republic had offered help, but when the Orinians refused to compromise their beliefs, and insisted that they still could not choose a side, they were abandoned and left to flee on their own.” A heavy silence fell as the group realized the implications of the story. Finn cleared his throat and spoke softly.

“I still don’t understand though, why does Ren care so much if she’s no help to him.” Leia turned to him and smiled sadly.

“Because she _sees_ him. The war inside him, she’ll see it even more than Rey ever could. She would be the first person he’s never had to explain himself to – someone who can understand him, even when he can’t understand himself” Maz nodded sagely and turned back to Rey.

“You may share this connection with him Rey, but I have a feeling this woman may be just what saves him”

* * *

The moment Phasma left his quarters, Lila had her arms around him, hugging him tightly and curling into his large chest with a smile.

“I missed you, Kylo Ren” he smiled softly and wrapped his own arms around her, feeling all the tension from the day bleed from his body as he let out a shaky breath.

“I missed you too. Was Phasma good company?” he slowly pulled out of her embrace and moving towards the fresher, hating to leave but needed to clean himself before any further contact.

He’s killed six people today, he wouldn’t have her tainted with his darkness.

Lila trotted along behind him, grabbing a set of his leisure robes absent-mindedly before sitting on the windowsill outside the fresher door, raising her voice to be heard over the system as she talked.

It had become their new routine since that night in bed several weeks ago, the touching and talking and sleeping together.

But that’s all it had ever been, and Kylo knew better than to ask for more.

He didn’t even deserve what he was getting.

Once he was safely in the fresher, he used the Force to slightly open the door to hear her better as she prattled on.

She won six games of chess today, which meant she was improving compared to the four she’d won this time last week – not that he was counting.

She’d read both of the tomes he’d managed to acquire for her – which meant her basic was almost completely fluent at this point.

Her and Phasma had gotten into an argument –

“What do you mean an argument?” Ren stuck his head out the door of the fresher in surprise, forgetting himself for a moment and causing Lila to laugh at his drenched locks.

“She called me spoiled,”

Phasma was spending the next week training Troopers.

“And ungrateful”

Make it two weeks.

Ren fumbled to get himself dried off and dressed, toweling his hair as he exited. He could imagine how rattled everyone would likely be if they saw how _domestic_ he’d become. He was still quite shocked himself.

“What was this argument over, may I ask?” Lila hopped off the windowsill, pushing him into one of the bar chairs at the counter, glaring at him when he tried to stand up.

“I can feel how tired you are, _sit,_ I will make us dinner. We already know I am the better cook here” Ren nodded and watched her for a moment before letting out a low hum.

“So, are you going to tell me what the fight was about? Did she hurt you?” Lila blew a raspberry and shook her head, flicking a wrist.

“No, she was cordial, do _not_ punish her Kylo Ren,” she levelled him a sharp look and he suddenly realized how his father felt at the dinner table when he’d share an especially _exciting_ smuggling tale that Leia didn’t exactly approve of.

“I just want to know what the argument was about. I won’t punish anyone who doesn’t deserve it” _blatant lie_.

“I wished to rearrange our quarters. It is so cold and lonely in here, I did not want you to come home to such a feeling after you have such exhausting days” Kylo felt his heart leap into his throat as she spoke about the apartment as if it were _theirs_. He’d never referred to it as _home_ before.

But Lila, she _wanted_ that.

He was pretty sure he’d give her the kriffing _stars_ if she asked at this point. He tuned back into her as she finished her sentence.

“…Said it was not my place, that your quarters are standard issue and there is nothing that needed improvement and that I should stop acting like a spoiled, ungrateful, brat.”

Yeah, three weeks with the Troopers ought to do it.

Kylo tried to smile softly, finding it increasingly easier as his time with her grew.

“Lila, if you would like to change anything in here, you have my full permission to do so, and I will make sure Captain Phasma is keenly aware of that” Lila blushed and set the plates on the counter, sliding around to sit on the seat next to him and leaning against his side as she began to eat.

“Be nice” he gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and nodded.

“I’ll be nice”


	7. Chapter 7

“Kylo Ren!” Phasma stared at him with wide eyes as he froze inside the door to his quarters.

They were _yellow_.

Not a bright yellow mind you, more of a soft yellow. Like the memory of sunshine on your skin.

“Forgive me Commander, I tried to stop-“ he held up a gloved hand as she rushed to his side, uncaring of the large helmet still on his face and he sighed out loud.

“Shoes Lila, we _discussed_ this” he waved a hand to Phasma, dismissing her wordlessly as she looked at him incredulously. Not that she had much time to linger on the odd exchange.

She was on Trooper duty after all.

Lila beamed up at the metal encasing his face and held one of the datapads in her hand.

“Look! You can change the colours, you only had it set to black and white, so dull!” he was glad he still had his mask on, because he was convinced that the beaming smile of delight across his face right now probably looked garish and foreign on him. She grabbed his gloved hand in her own and dragged him further into the apartment, ignoring his wistful glance to the fresher.

She’d rearranged the living areas, which had previously held a shrine to Vader’s helmet in the centre with the furniture pushed alone the walls. The furniture was now set up like a proper living space, with a holoscreen if they ever chose to watch anything, and the chessboard on the low table in the center. She’d organized his desk, his once forgotten calligraphy set now sitting front and centre proudly.

“I thought getting a carpet would be nice, I have heard that Coruscant has beautiful textiles and we could likely find a nice carpet to place on the floor so it is not so cold” Ren nodded, still staring as she bit her lip, he could feel her nervous energy beginning to build and he looked at her, trying to keep his voice even.

“The chest, in the middle-“ her eyes went wide and she nodded.

“Yes! Of course your relic! I should have started with that I apologize. I was very careful with it Kylo Ren I promise, I placed it in your safe for now, I did not want to accidentally offend by putting it in an inappropriate place, so I put it where I could not accidentally damage it, and so you could decide where it truly belongs” she looked up at him with big eyes and he nodded, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

“Thank you, I appreciate that Lila” she smiled and turned back to her tour of the apartment, walking with purpose as she spoke over her shoulder to him.

“I have also changed the kitchen, so that we may properly dine together.” The kitchen itself was still its sterile black and white, but the counter had been replaced with a table and chairs, complete with a soft grey table cloth.

It reminded Kylo of his mother.

“I tried not to change everything too much, as I wanted you to still feel as though it was your home, but to me it did not feel like it was complete. Now we can look at each other when we speak at dinner. I also rearranged the bedroom.” Kylo led the way into the bedroom and stopped short.

The once black walls were now a deep midnight blue, the black sheets replaced with the same soft grey as the table cloth. His black bedframe and closet were all that remained of the old room. But that wasn’t the only thing that had caught his attention.

She’d pushed the bed against the large floor to ceiling wall, so she would have to crawl into the bed to access her side.

Because they had sides of the bed now.

“I altered the shade so that we may see out, but no one can see in. I hope that is okay, I love the stars so. I want to always be able to see them” Kylo looked at her and swallowed thickly, removing his mask and staring down at her as she surveyed her work with sharp eyes even his most reliable Knights didn’t possess.

“It’s perfect” she squeezed his gloved hand and smiled brightly.

“I am glad you like it, Kylo Ren.”

* * *

“It’s called the _Supremacy_. We have reason to believe both Snoke and Ren are on board” the Resistance members nodded as Poe continued explaining their attack plan. Rey meanwhile focused on her own plan with Leia, she was going to extract the Orinian woman.

And hopefully Ben Solo.

She called out to him in her mind, frustrated at his silence because she needed him on board.

“I don’t understand, he’s always responded to me. I’m the one who’s ignored him?” Leia looked at her with concern filling her eyes.

“Could he be hurt?” Rey shook her head.

“No, it’s nothing like that, it’s like he’s actively avoiding me” Leia hummed and looked down at their plan.

“Maybe he’s indisposed, and can’t risk answering” Rey nodded, though she wasn’t entirely sure she believed that.

* * *

Kylo Ren was one hundred percent ignoring Rey. It wasn’t because he didn’t think it was important. In fact it probably was extremely important and probably required his immediate attention.

But answering her call would mean that he would need to stop what he was currently doing, and that wasn’t possible.

Especially with the sigh of absolute delight that tumbled out of Lila’s lips as she _finally_ perfected her calligraphy letters.

“Perfect, amazing” she grinned in excitement and looked at him brightly.

“I have been practicing for you, Kylo Ren. I take it I have improved?” Ren nodded and leaned forward to kiss the side of her head unconsciously, freezing the moment realization hit him. He pulled back abruptly and stood.

“Kylo?-“

“I have to go, I have to take care of something. Stay here” Lila nodded in confusion, watching silently as he rushed out of the apartment.

* * *

The moment Ren locked himself in the conference room he blew their connection wide open.

“Rey”

_“What took you so long, if you want my help you could at the very least be prepared for it”_ Kylo didn’t bite back, merely nodding as he looked at his feet. Rey studied him as a growing realization began to pool in her stomach.

“I apologize, I was indisposed. Now I assume your contact means you’ve found-“

_“You’re in love with her”_ it was posed as a question, but they both knew it was one he didn’t need to answer. The silence lasted for several seconds and she looked at him again.

_“Kylo-“_

“As I was saying, I assume you’ve discovered the whereabouts of my ship. I do not wish to know the details of your plan, as I am still going to support my Order to it’s fullest extent. However, my quarters are located on deck 75-E, apartment 456N. She will be inside alone, there will be no guards at the door to hinder you.” His voice was even, but Rey saw the tear escape his eye and she felt her heart break.

_“Deck 75-E, apartment 456N. Is there anything else I need to know?”_ Kylo shook his head and looked at her.

“Just that if anything happens to her, I will slaughter you where you stand” with that, the transmission cut off and Rey was left alone again. Feeling his fear and pain swirling through her body like it was her own.

* * *

By the time Ren had calmed himself down enough to return to his quarters, Lila was already in bed. He tried to move silently as he changed, but as he reached for his sleep shirt movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention.

He breath left him at the sight of her sitting up in bed. She was in one of his black undershirts – the one with _no_ sleeves – and as the starlight hit her skin through the window she looked ethereal to him.

“You are in so much pain” her voice wavered, and Kylo realized in horror that she was crying.

Desperate to console, to _fix_ it, he left his shirt forgotten on the floor, instead crawling onto the bed and gently reaching for her face.

“Lila, are you hurt? Did something happen?” he shouldn’t have left her alone, _stupid, he was so stu-_

“I hate your relic” the words stopped him short and he pulled away to look at her in confusion.

“What?” she wiped her eyes, fidgeting with the edge of the tan top as she looked away.

“I was going to put it out for you, you seemed so concerned when you left, I thought it might bring you peace when you came back. But I accidentally touched it and-“ she heaved another sob and wrapped her arms tightly around herself.

“The _pain_ , there is just _so much pain_. Why do you have such a thing – how could that _ever_ bring peace to anything?” she hadn’t sounded this lost since Hux’s interrogation. And Ren was horrified that the damage inflicted on her had once again been his fault.

Because she’d been trying to help him.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Lila you’re right. I should’ve kept it away better. I apologize” Lila shook her head adamantly and snarled at him.

“ _No_. Do not apologize for having it, tell me _why_ you have it!? Why would you keep such a horrible thing?” Kylo shook his head, at a loss for words.

“I can’t explain-“

“Then _try_. Does it bring you comfort?” Kylo shook his head.

“Peace? Glory?” Again, Kylo could only shake his head in the negative.

“Then why sacrifice your happiness for a broken helmet?” Kylo looked at her as she gripped his hand tightly, touching him for the first time since his return.

“I don’t know”.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gratuitous smut

Captain Phasma had been loyal to the First Order since long before General Armitage Hux had ever been important. But she knew as much as her loyalty lied with Kylo Ren, she had a debt to repay to Armitage, and this new development was definitely one of them.

“Captain Phasma, you wished to see me?” Hux looked for all the world like a bored cat. But she could see right through him.

He was _dying_ to know what information she had. Especially when her message had said _related to Commander Ren and the Orinian._

“Sir, if we may speak in private?” Hux rolled his eyes but nodded, guiding her to his office and sliding the door closed behind them, locking with a definitive click.

“Have a seat captain, and tell me everything”

* * *

Ren started awake from his most recent nightmare. They were fewer and farther between then they used to be, which he silently accredited to Lila. But they weren’t gone completely. He caught his breath and looked over at the clock on the dresser.

04:30 standard hours. He wasn’t needed on the bridge until 10:00. He rolled over hoping to fall back asleep only to meet two cerulean orbs looking back at him.

“Bad dream?” he wasn’t sure why she was whispering so softly, but when he murmured his answer he kept his voice equally low, not wanting to break whatever moment he could feel building.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay” he stared at her as she laced their fingers together with one hand, using the other to card her fingers gently through his dark hair and Ren felt the heat from her dance along every single nerve. He had to hold back a shudder of pleasure.

“You are thinking, tell me” he breathed out a laugh, rubbing his thumb along her delicate wrist as he studied her face.

“You can see into my mind, why not just look yourself?” she turned her gaze back to him, holding eye contact as she spoke softly.

“Too many in this world have taken from you without consent, I will not be one of them. I will only take anything that is willingly given” Ren was sure everyone on the ship could hear his heart pounding in his ears, and he suddenly became very aware of how _little_ they were wearing.

“Anything?” his voice was barely more than an exhale, finding it harder to breath as he stared at her.

And if her repeated swallowing was anything to go off of he wasn’t the only one struggling.

He gently reached up, sliding his massive palm onto the side of her neck as his thumb brushed along her jaw. Her eyes fluttered closed as she threaded her fingers through his hair, gripping it gently.

“Anything” Ren’s heart hammered in his chest as he slowly rolled on top of her, still holding her jaw as he propped himself above her with his other forearm, looking down at her in the starlight. He brushed his nose against hers, lips a breath apart as she brought her other hand against his chest and he closed his eyes.

This was it, this was the line he’d crossed. Now she’d push him off and-

“Your heart beats so fast,” she murmured.

“Can you feel mine too?” he slowly added a bit of pressure with his index finger, where it lay over her pulse point in her neck.

If his was thundering, hers was _racing_.

Ren felt his last bit of control snap and he used his loose hold on her neck to bring her head up that last bit to _finally_ catch those lips in his. She sighed against him and wrapped her arms around him tightly, pulling him closer, _closer_.

Their kisses quickly became more heated and Ren moaned when she spread her legs for him, letting him settle between them to keep pulling him to her.

He’d disappear into her, be lost forever in her and he couldn’t care less.

Her hands disappeared into his hair as he began to pepper hot, open-mouthed kisses along her jaw and neck, the hand not propping himself up sliding under his tank top and onto the bare skin of her waist, sliding around to the small of her back as she pressed against him with a moan.

“K-Kylo-“ he stopped and pulled back up to kiss her, to take the name from her so he’d never have to hear it from her lips again.

_“Ben_ , call me Ben” she pulled back and smiled up at him, taking his face in her hands and nodding.

“Ben” Ben surged back down, continuing his trail of kisses as she writhed against him.

“Tell me to stop” she nodded, biting her lip and closing her eyes as he pulled at the large neckline of the tank top, revealing her perfect, full breasts. He immediately took a pert nipple into his mouth, reveling in the choked cry above him as he sucked and flicked his tongue.

_“Ben,_ s-so good, it feels so-“ she cut herself off mid-sentence to kiss the top of his head, the only part of him she could currently reach. He grabbed at the shirt as he moved to the other breast, beginning to bunch the shirt up.

“Can I? I wanna see you, let me just-“ she wrapped one long leg over his hip and rolled herself up to grind against his now straining erection and he growled.

“Yes, please Ben” he pulled her up, sitting back on his legs and pulling her into his lap as he yanked the garment over her head and threw it across the room. He laid her back down and shimmied to the edge of the bed, making quick work of the sleep pants and staring at her in awe.

The light iridescent sparkle he’d first seen on Sullust continued along her entire body, illuminated by the stars outside.

She didn’t seem shy, merely lying there allowing him to look with a calm, curious expression.

“You look like you’re made from stardust” he traced a large, scarred hand over her form and tried not to think about how much his own hand did _not_ belong on her body. Lila suddenly sat up, pressing her lips to his and sliding her hands across his shoulders.

“And you look as though you were carved of alabaster my love” Ben jolted at the endearment and he looked at her. But she didn’t take it back, merely holding his gaze and allowing him to process her words. She leaned in and kissed him again, moving her lips along his jawline before pressing against his ear.

“Make love to me Ben” Ben sighed deeply, eyes fluttering shut as he lay her back down, making a home for himself between her legs as she helped him push his pants down his hips, smiling at the sound of them hitting the floor.

He reached down slowly, gingerly sliding his fingers between her folds as she gasped against him, burying her face in his neck.

“B-Ben, Ben please, please I-“ but she didn’t know what she was asking for, but Ben didn’t care, he just needed to feel her around him, hear her say his name.

“What? What is it? Tell me and it’s yours,” he moved his hand once he felt she was ready and slowly guided his cock to her entrance, causing her to let out a choked sound at the new feeling. He pressed his face against her cheek, kissing everywhere he could reach as he babbled against her flushed skin.

“Anything, everything sweetheart, I’ll give you everything, you need only ask and it’s yours” she reached down, causing him to stutter as she took him in hand, pressing him further against her.

“This, you. I want _you_ ” he pulled his head back to look at her softly.

“You have me, I’m yours” with that he pulled her into a passionate kiss as he slid into her, the world melting away from him into the stars.

* * *

Ben pressed another kiss to her shoulder as he slowly got out of bed. He was going to be late, but he knew if he stormed in loudly enough no one would be brave enough to address it. Lila hummed as her eyes fluttered open, rolling over and smiling up at him sleepily.

“Ben…” he stroked her hair and smiled, feeling his chest flutter at the name.

“Hey sweetheart. I have to go, but I’ll come back as soon as I can, and Phasma will be here soon okay?” Lila nodded sleepily, gently pulling him down for a kiss as he slowly crawled out of bed.

“Be safe” he nodded, pressing another kiss to her head before ruefully dragging himself to the fresher and getting dressed, sliding on his helmet as he stormed out the door.

* * *

“What are _you_ doing here?” Kylo Ren kept his voice low as he slid up behind Phasma, who swallowed thickly.

“My apologies Commander, I was only looking out for your best interests.” Phasma’s voice shook and Ren immediately took stock of who was on the bridge.

Hux was unaccounted for, as were his two Knights, Trudgen and Cardo.

He rounded back on Phasma in fury as he roared, saber coming to life next to him.

“What have you done!?”


	9. Chapter 9

“Captain Phasma?” Lila slowly stuck her head out of the fresher. She had lay in bed until her hunger had gotten the better of her, and after a quick breakfast, she’d slipped into the fresher with Ben’s sweater and a pair of leggings in tow.

She slowly walked into the room and froze at the sight in the living room. It was the man from before, the one with the red hair that has caused her so much pain. He was flanked by two other men, dressed almost like Kylo Ren. She stepped away, hugging the towel to her body as she swallowed thickly.

The ginger-haired man advanced into the room, eyes raking over her almost animalistic in his movements as he approached her.

“I’m afraid Cap. Phasma won’t be joining us. But I hope you’ll be just as _hospitable_ to me as you are to Commander Ren” Lila looked over his shoulder and Hux turned to the Knights.

“Guard the door, don’t let anyone in. Especially Ren” the Knights soundlessly left the apartment, and when Hux turned back on Lila his eyes were almost black.

“That petulant child has taken _everything_ from me, let’s see how much he likes it when I take something from him” Lila whimpered and backed away from him, glancing around to find a potential weapon as he charged her, she threw a kitchen chair at him and took off, dropping her towel in her need to escape.

* * *

Ren hadn’t stayed long enough to hear whether or not Phasma was still alive, not that it mattered. Lila needed off the ship, and she needed off now. He stormed towards his quarters, saber flickering violently as he threw his connection to Rey open.

_“B-“_

“Coordinates L-27. You will find First Order Dreadnaught _Supremacy_ with 1000 souls on board, including myself, Snoke and Hux. You remember my room?”

_“Yes”_

“Then get here _now_ ” he cut off the line as he rounded on his door, raising his lightsaber against his two Knights.

“You’ll die for this!”

* * *

“Ow! You stupid little whore!” Hux reared back and slapped her as she sunk her teeth into his shoulder, slamming her knee against his stomach as he shoved her onto the bed again. The tears were streaming down her face as she sobbed, clawing at his face.

“Stop this! Stop!” he grabbed at her leg when there was a sudden crash from the living room.

“Hux!” Lila took his hesitation to kick him off her, curling up against the corner between the dresser and far wall as Kylo stormed into the room, saber glittering. Hux attempted to straighten himself, trying to fix his tattered clothes as he eyes him nervously.

“Ren, where are your Knights?” They were Hux’s ace in the hole, Ren loved his Knights and was fiercely protective of them. Kylo bared his teeth and snarled.

“Dead – as is your little rat Phasma” Hux looked at him with wide eyes as Kylo stalked further into the bedroom.

“Now it’s your turn” Ben raised his saber as a sudden lurch rocked the ship.

_“General Hux, Report to the Bridge immediately”_ an X-Wing flew past the window and Hux glared at him.

“We’ll settle this later” Kylo didn’t bother chasing him, he’d kill him later. For now he had more important matters to attend to.

Like getting Lila on one of those ships.

He deactivated the saber and tore off his cape.

“Lila, sweetheart are you hurt?” Lila shook her head, allowing him to wrap her up in his cape as she hugged him tightly.

“No, he just wanted – it was so _evil_ ” she pressed her face into his neck as he hugged her tightly.

Alarms started going off and Lila looked at him as he turned his attention back out to the hallway.

“Listen to me, I need you to get dressed okay? Something you can run in and _please_ wear shoes, for me okay?” Lila looked at him in confusion and he gripped her cheeks, kissing her passionately.

“I’ll be right back, go get dressed” Lila nodded, feeling his desperation as she pulled herself together. They’d talk about it later, but she realized very quickly that she wasn’t out of danger yet and she had to keep moving.

She grabbed her clothes, grabbing Ben’s large sweater she’d slept in and throwing it over top as she walked into the carnage of the apartment.

She froze at the petite brunette standing there next to him, her own blue saber glowing as she gaped at Lila.

“This is her?”

“Who is she!?”

* * *

The moment Ben had cut the connection, Rey had taken off to Poe. Luckily they’d already been preparing so being given the exact coordinates were easy.

“How do we know it’s not a trap?” Leia looked at them with hard eyes.

“We don’t, but this is our only chance either way” Rose nodded in defeat and Rey glanced at Finn.

“Are we ready?” the teams took off, leaping into light speed and emerging in front of the massive dreadnaught.

Which clearly had no idea they were coming.

“Finn, stay here and guard the ship, I’m going to grab the Orinian. We’ll come bck while she’s safely back at base” Finn nodded once and watched as she exited the ship, hurrying towards the residential decks.

“456, 456, 45-kriff” Rey raised her saber as General Hux and two Troopers advanced on her as she rounded the corner.

“Well – kill her!” the Troopers each took a step forward, only to freeze mid-step as their necks were snapped, Hux turned around only to be met with Kylo Ren’s saber as it was thrusted through his side, causing Rey to gasp as he looked into the General's eyes.

“I told you I’d kill you” Hux gurgled as Ren deactivated his saber, looking over his crumpled form as Rey gaped at him.

“We don’t have much time, follow me”.

* * *

She looked so delicate. Rey couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen a woman who looked so untouched by war.

She had long blonde hair, which appeared to be damp, her pointed ears twitching as she turned to Kylo with wide eyes.

“Ben, who is this?” Rey turned to him in shock as he rushed towards her, abandoning his weapon as he pulled her into his arms. Rey fleetingly noticed the two dead Knights on the floor, but found herself unable to look away at how _tender_ Kylo was being.

Not to mention the fact that she called him _Ben_.

“Lila, sweetheart listen to me okay? You’re not safe here, I need you to go with Rey, she’s going to take you to my mother” Rey balked at his words, at how human he sounded. Lila pulled away from him shaking her head.

“No, I am staying with you, you promised” Ben nodded, gently tugging her back to him.

“I know, I know I did, but I need you safe, and right now that isn’t with me” her eyes welled over with tears and she grabbed his hand.

“Then we stay together as long as we can?” Ben looked at her and nodded. He turned his attention to Rey, reigniting his weapon as Lila grabbed his free hand in both of hers.

“I’ll get you to your ship.”

* * *

They finally reached the deck and Finn stared up at Rey and Kylo in shock, raising his own blaster.

“Finn, wait-“ but everyone froze in shock as Lila stepped between Ren and the blaster, narrowing her eyes as the firearm flew from his hands. She immediately turned to Kylo with wide eyes.

“I will not go with them” Ben grabbed her arms and shook her gently.

“Lila, you –“

“ _No_! he is angry, at you. I cannot trust them” Kylo shook his head and looked at her.

“I’m the bad guy Lila, it’s _me_. That’s why he hates me. I need you to go with them, they will keep you safer than I ever could” she shook her head as her eyes filled with tears.

“I do not want to leave you, what if Hux-“

“I killed him sweetheart, he’s gone. I’ll come find you when this is over, but I need you to get on the ship for me” Ben framed her face in his large hands and rested his forehead against hers as she nodded in defeat, gripping his vest tightly. He didn’t care about his audience, he didn’t care about his falling Order.

He only cared about her.

“I wish we had more time” Lila pressed her forehead harder against his.

“I love you, my Ben” Ben nodded, a tiny smile reaching his face before pushing her away gently.

“Go, _go_ ” Rey grabbed her arm as she walked away, reaching out for him as the sleeve of his sweater fell over her hand.

“Ben!” Rey yanked her onto the Falcon as Finn immediately began to take off, Ren watching with his saber limply hanging from his hand. An emptiness unlike anything he’d ever felt encompassing him.

She was safe, that’s all that mattered.

Now all that was left was Snoke.


	10. Chapter 10

“How did a full Rebel Fleet manage to surprise my _Flagship!”_ Ren winced as a stabbing pain shot behind his eye as Snoke yelled. He kept his shields locked tight. Refusing to allow even the slightest bit of emotion through as he looked up.

“Forgive me Supreme Leader, I did all I could-“ Snoke roared, sending Ren across the room as he cried out to his guards.

“Get me Hux!” the Praetorian Guard hesitated before stepping forward slowly.

“General Hux is dead sir, as is Captain Phasma” Snoke cried out in Fury and Ren had to bite back his own smirk.

So he _had_ killed her.

Ren took Snoke’s tantrum as his moment, climbing to his feet and activating his saber as he rushed the throne, the Praetorian Guards struggling to keep up to him but it was too late.

* * *

“Release me!” Lila yanked herself violently out of Finn’s hold, falling to her knees on the forest floor of Ajan Kloss and snarling up at them. BB-8 rolled up to her and she lurched back, baring her teeth.

“Get _back_ , Droid” BB-8 shot backwards, beeping out apologetically as he shook his head. Lila climbed to her feet, glaring at them angrily, crouching into a low battle stance as Leia slowly stepped out of her tent.

“Lila” she turned sharply and Leia gently knelt down in front of her, unknowingly echoing her son’s very position months earlier as she placed her hand on her chest, speaking slowly.

“My name is Leia, I’m Ben’s mother” Lila looked at her warily and Leia held her ground.

“You are Resistance, my Ben is Empire” Leia nodded and looked at her sadly.

“We know, that’s why you’re here” Lila took her head, growling out at the General as her ears tilted back in warning.

“You will get no information from me” Leia shook her head.

“You’re right we won’t, we won’t even ask” she raised a hand to silence Poe before he even spoke as she slowly extended her other hand.

“You’re here as my protected guest, my son asked me to keep the woman he loves safe. This is what I intend to do, if you’ll let me.” Lila looked at her, chest beginning to heave as her eyes filled with tears.

“My Ben sent you” Leia nodded, gesturing to Rey who slowly stepped forward. Lila looked at her and inhaled sharply through her nose.

“You’re the woman in his dreams.” Rey swallowed and looked at Leia nervously.

“You knew of our connection?” Lila looked away.

“I could sense it. There was always something on his mind, even when he was with me.” Lila tilted her head, a rogue tear sliding from her eye as she stared back at Rey.

“Do you love him?” Rey smiled and tried to make herself seem as soft as possible.

“Not like you do, but yes, I do care about him” Rey steadfastly ignored Finn’s snuffle of indignation as Lila nodded. She went to follow Leia again before turning sharply.

“You must save him, Rey of Jakku. He is so afraid” Rey stared at her wide-eyed as Leia finally managed to drag her off, slowly turning to the others as Poe spoke up.

“Did she just ask us to save Kylo Ren?!” Rey shook her head, looking down at the lightsaber in her hands.

“No, she told us to save Ben Solo”.

* * *

“Supreme Leader” Ren turned slightly as a statuesque woman entered the room, her eyes hard and the bright streak of grey in her otherwise black hair. He smirked in spite of himself at her lack of intimidation surrounded by his Knights.

“Ah, Grand Admiral Sloane, you are quite the legend” Sloane raised her chin and quirked an eyebrow. Her eyes held a challenge and Ren was keenly aware that she wouldn’t think twice about doing to him what he did to Snoke should her piss her off.

“I am pleased to know my reputation precedes me, Supreme Leader. However, I am confused as to why I have been summoned from the Outer Rim?” Ren reclined in the large chair, staring down at her and baring his teeth in a dark smile.

“General Hux and Captain Phasma are dead, I need someone on this ship I know can do their job” Sloane nodded, bowing slightly as she looked up at him.

“I shall do everything in my power to maintain my worthiness of the position” Ren nodded and stood, motioning for her to follow him to the large control panel.

“Tell me Admiral, have you ever been to Exegol?”

* * *

“You have to eat” Rey coaxed softly, sitting cross-legged in front of the Orinian, who was staring out into the night sky.

“I do not trust your kind, your _rebels_. How do I know your food is not poisoned?” Rey could feel her fear as a palpable presence in the room, but the regality in which she carried herself very quickly reminded her that she was anything but a scared little girl.

“You can trust us-“

“Why is it no one believes that I understand basic, or do they just not care?” Rey furrowed her brow in confusion and Lila bared her teeth in a dark smile, something Rey believed whole-heartedly had been picked up from Kylo.

“When I was threatened on the Supremacy, all those against me were killed, without question. My safety was paramount to my Ben. Yet here you have my food delivered by those who spit in it, who call me the Whore of the First Order and laugh as they talk about how they will kill my love. And when I request to have them removed from my care rotation. I am told that I need to understand everyone else’s pain – as though you all forget that I can feel everything without effort. I was harmed _once_ on board the destroyer, and my Ben immediately put measures in place so I could be safe, I was treated like an Empress. Here I am mocked while made to eat sub-standard food while living in a tent. No one asks me how my day was, no one wishes to know how I slept. No one cares that I have all but mastered this language with no one to help me except for my Ben and a few books,” tear began to flow from her cerulean eyes and Rey felt her heart breaking as she began to realize that maybe this wasn’t the Stockholm Syndrome they had believed it to be.

“The First Order did not kidnap me, they rescued me – it is you who has stolen me away where I did not wish to go. So no, Rey of Jakku, I cannot trust you. And I do not _have_ to eat anything” she hugged her knees to her chest and turned away as the tears cascaded silently down her cheeks. Rey set the bundle of portion bread down and looked at her softly.

“Give me the names of the people who are behaving this way, I’ll have them removed from the rotation” Lila looked up at her in surprise and Rey scooted closer.

“D-do you have any favourite foods? We don’t have much, but I can try to get you something better” Rey didn’t say out loud that they had better food on base, as she was beginning to understand that Lila wasn’t actually a guest, but a prisoner.

“My Ben made me soup, it was light but filling, he said it was his mother’s recipe” Rey nodded and smiled gently.

“I’ll ask, see what I can find, but for now, will you please eat this, so I know you’ve had something” Lila nodded and slowly took the bread from her, watching as she stood to leave.

“And Rey?” Rey turned to her as she looked up at her.

“The next time you see my Ben, tell him I’m waiting for him?” Rey smiled sadly and nodded, holding the list of names Lila had given her as she walked away.


	11. Chapter 11

Ren stalked across the dark wasteland of Exegol, igniting his saber as Sloane strutted behind him. The one benefit of having Sloane as his new second in command was that she was blindly loyal to the Dark Side, easily manipulated to do what he wanted.

He had every intention of disappearing into the galaxy after he got her in a position to take his place. His desire to be the Supreme Leader had long vanished. Instead he wanted to go hide in one of the unknown planets with a woman who looked like stardust.

They began to lower into the depths of the planet and he could feel the darkness swirling around in his gut. He didn’t want to be here.

Ren shot a quick look at Sloane, her blaster already ready as they stepped off the platform. She looked around curiously and spoke softly.

“What is this place?” Ren barely had the chance to acknowledge her question before a cryptic voice rang from the walls.

_“At last…”_ the two looked at each other and Sloane’s jaw dropped.

“That voice – that’s not possible” Ren turned away from her and began to advance rapidly towards the ruins, which were beginning to reveal themselves as symbols of the Sith.

_“Snoke trained you well”_ Ren disregarded Sloane’s presence behind him as he uttered his next confession.

“I killed Snoke, I’ll kill you too” Sloane gasped behind him, but he kept himself calm, locking the image of Lila safely away behind his shields as he turned the corner.

Coming face to face with none other than Emperor Palpatine.

* * *

“Lila, are you hungry? I’ve brought you some soup” Lila turned to the elderly General with harsh eyes.

“Is it poisoned?” Leia swallowed thickly, the mistrust and pain in the woman’s eyes reminding her far too much of what she found in her own son’s.

“Rey told me what happened. You won’t be seeing those guards anymore-“

“Did you kill them?” Leia balked slightly before shaking her head.

“No, of course not. They’ve been reassigned” Lila let out an unimpressed hum and turned back to the sky, staring out at the clouds.

“My Ben would have killed them. He would make sure that they would never hurt me again” Leia’s heart broke at her wavering tone, watching a tear slide down her cheek.

“Lila, I-“

“Have you heard from my Ben?” her icy eyes boring into Leia’s very soul as she held her gaze, the sunlight reflecting off her luminescent skin making her an absolute vision.

Leia could easily see how her son had fallen in love with her.

“No, the only one who is able to contact Ben directly is Rey, but she-“

“Then bring me your Scavenger, I need to send a message to my Ben.”

* * *

Sloane was easily sliding into her position as Ren’s second in command, the Knights following her just as loyally as they did him. The temptation to slip away in the night was overwhelming. The idea of crawling back into an empty bed haunting Ren each night.

His apartment was still decorated as she had wanted, her calligraphy work remained untouched on the desk. He could still smell her on his sheets and Vader’s mask remained hidden away in the darkness of the unused closet. Missing Lila was becoming a pain in his chest rivaling that of his father’s loss, and the only thing keeping him from sneaking away, scooping her up and running across the galaxy was his iron clad belief that she deserved so much more than a life on the run.

Not that he would be able to give her much else anyway.

He already knew how this would end, how once he had Sloane in a position to take complete control he would surrender himself to the Resistance. How he would give them all they asked for, asking only for Lila’s safety in return. If he was lucky, they’d merely execute him after. But Ren had seen the hatred in General Dameron’s eyes, and he remembered the coldness in his mother’s far too well.

Death would be a kindness not bestowed upon Kylo Ren.

He wasn’t sure if the Resistance believed in torture, but if had had to guess his fate he could easily visualize a life of hard labour on a desolate planet, or an eternity of physical and mental anguish at the hands of those who hate him.

But again, that wasn’t something he wasn’t used to.

Ren curled around the pillow Lila used to use, feeling the tears prick his eyes.

_Please be safe. I want nothing but your safety._

He pushed his words into the Force, hoping that maybe she could hear him, wherever she might be.

* * *

Lila sat upright on her bedmat, looking around wildly as the gravely voice whispered in her ear.

_Please be safe. I want nothing but your safety_.

“Ben?” she scrambled to her feet, looking around the room with wild eyes.

“My Ben? Where are you?” tears slid down her face as she tried to calm herself down, breathing deeply and sitting back on her bedmat and focusing on the Force.

_My Ben. I hear you. I am safe. Come home to me. Please._

She felt as though she was calling down a long hallway, unable to confirm whether or not he heard her, but confident her message was carried.

_Come home my Ben._

* * *

In his restless sleep, Ren distantly heard a soft voice, as though called to him from a far away room.

_Come home my Ben._

Ren’s eyes snapped open, wiping at the tears which had escaped in his slumber as the stars looked back at him through the window.

_I am safe. Come home to me. Please._

Ren smiled in spite of himself at the request, at the reality that he was _wanted_ by someone, somewhere. That she wanted him to come home.

And that she considered his home to be with her.

Ren swallowed thickly and curled further in the bed, inhaling her scent in the sheets as he tried to relax again. He was going to need his strength if he was going to get home.

“I’ll come home to you sweetheart, I promise.”

* * *

Curling back up into her mat, hugging the oversized sweater around her body, Lila began to concoct her plan.

When her Ben arrived on Ajan Kloss, no one would touch him.

Not even General Organa.

She knew what she had to do, and she wasn’t afraid to do it.

Lila was going to be the first Orinion to choose a side.

And it was going to be her own.


End file.
